Basically I'm Gay

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  • Published on Jun 13, 2019
  • Let me tell you a queer little story about a boy named Dan.
    Follow me online to see the rest of my tale as it unfolds in real time:
    danielhowell
    danielhowell
    danisnotonfire
    And subscribe to my channel! ru-clip.net/user/danisnotonfire (lol)
    Content warning: this video contains far too much strong language and discussions of general sexuality, discriminatory language, bullying and an attempt on my own life. Otherwise totally appropriate for education, instilling good values in young children and my grandma who I will expect a disappointed text from.
    Special thanks to ru-clip.net/user/AmazingPhil for production assistance.
    Art by Hector aka swatercolour
    Soundtrack:
    Handel - Messiah
    Camille Saint-Saëns - Danse Macabre
    Tchaikovsky - 1812 Overture
    Chopin - Fantasie Impromptu
    Schubert - Ave Maria
    Additional Music by Kevin Macleod incompetech.com
    Disclaimer - This video is just a starting point for me, what I felt was the bare minimum (ha) required for me to get this out there so I can move forward with my life, a mix of explanation, justification and opinion. It scratched the surface of several things I could have gone into more detail about, but the purpose of this was to be ..reasonably concise and above all entertaining. In the future, in the right places, I will surely talk much more about everything touched on in this video and more. It’s also likely that something will get misunderstood or misrepresented, perhaps from the way I phrased things or people assuming my thoughts on things that I didn’t specify. Also my story is just the truth of what happened to me and what I thought at certain points of time in my environment, good and bad - of course not my opinions today. So JUST to be clear my opinion on general sexual and gender identities are that everyone is valid and deserves equal rights and the freedom to exist. The only thing I don’t tolerate is intolerance. Cheers to an inevitable bright future, either because people become nice and the old people die or the sun explodes first lmao.
    Some resources and charities for anyone who needs support or wants to learn more:
    youngminds.org.uk/
    www.samaritans.org/
    papyrus-uk.org/
    www.stonewall.org.uk/
    www.hrc.org/
    www.thetrevorproject.org/
    www.trevorspace.org/
    switchboard.lgbt/
    minus18.org.au/
    www.glaad.org/transgender
    www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 127 132

  • Rowynn Slivka
    Rowynn Slivka Day ago

    But can we really quickly take a sec to appreciate the wonderful photo shoot?

  • scarlet friend
    scarlet friend Day ago

    time to watch this again and cry

  • Patricia Breeden

    Bruh.

  • Jordy's Ego
    Jordy's Ego Day ago +1

    I am a Genderfluid Lesbian~ And I feel happy this video is made. While I'm open the someone i'm not close with it's the people i'm close with I'm scared to say much to because if they leave then no one is left.

  • JessIsSmall
    JessIsSmall Day ago +1

    its been 5 months wth

  • Abi Fanning
    Abi Fanning Day ago

    non mixed secondary schools are living hell’s

  • Lauren Thompson
    Lauren Thompson Day ago

    Fuck yeah Dan 🙌💖✨

  • Rosa Düren
    Rosa Düren Day ago

    I’d want to give you a hug, if that’s ok?

  • Peyton's Fandom
    Peyton's Fandom Day ago

    ❤️❤️💓💓

  • azukə
    azukə Day ago

    dude i lov him

  • Amy H.
    Amy H. Day ago

    36:53 yaaaaaaasss 👏 well put

  • such a x capricorn
    such a x capricorn Day ago +1

    *we need a gushy dan and phil video and we need one noW*

  • Alexandria Cosby

    Not sure the black on black floating head thing is working for me.

  • bananananaO9
    bananananaO9 2 days ago +1

    LMAOOOO your moms response "don't forget the ipad" same.

  • bananananaO9
    bananananaO9 2 days ago

    i love you so much, ive been a follower for 8 years now and weve both come a long way.
    since i was 17 to now, im 25. you are totally relatable and i understand you. i

  • Emma Gray
    Emma Gray 2 days ago +1

    Im so proud of you dan i know you are a strong individual inside ❤️

  • Sarah L
    Sarah L 2 days ago

    Im crafting so hard rn

  • Sarah L
    Sarah L 2 days ago

    Ive watched this video at least once a week to keep me going since he uploaded it

    I cry every time

  • Just_another_pointless_ channel

    I’m not even kidding when i say I have watched this whole video 30 times...

  • This User Doesn't Exist

    No one:


    Not even meh-:


    Dan at 31:58 or 31:59 : *what would you like to fuck?*

  • emma
    emma 2 days ago

    19:50 ok thx SOBBING
    this hit v deep ouch no one else knows about my attempt either unless you read this comment hi ur the only one to know

  • Frederik Mejndor
    Frederik Mejndor 2 days ago

    aha get demonitized

  • SadieMayB
    SadieMayB 3 days ago

    every time i listen to this i always think that at 23:56 dan’s referring to himself as “when-why-where-how-long-howell” and i always think it’s a pretty dope nickname

  • felicity capstick
    felicity capstick 3 days ago

    I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH UGH

  • iDrawSometimes
    iDrawSometimes 3 days ago +4

    This video proves how confusing sexualities are.
    F o u r t y.
    F i v e.
    M i n u t e s.

  • felicity capstick
    felicity capstick 3 days ago

    I come back to this video so much omg

  • fever dreamer podcast

    we love you so much, dan

  • Skittles_For_Frank emo.

    I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO GET G-NOTED WHAT THE FÚCK

  • Sophie B
    Sophie B 3 days ago

    ♥️

  • nici Ann
    nici Ann 3 days ago +1

    Omg1 million likes 🤯😱I'm SOOO so proud of you

  • Hanne Kirkebø
    Hanne Kirkebø 3 days ago +1

    In the pinof 4 bloopers someone asked what would phil’s life be without Dan. And i can’t stop thinking about if the question was what would dans life be without phil. And it’s really sad and dark to think about but what if dan had spiraled down a really really dark path. He might not have been here with us today. Somehow i feel like Phil literally saved Dan’s life. They met not long after dan tried to take his own life and he was probably still struggling. It’s a really dark thought but i can’t stop thinking about it...

  • alva s. v
    alva s. v 4 days ago

    a year without uplouding, he comes back *in drag*

  • Haytch
    Haytch 4 days ago +1

    we knew the whole time

  • it's just kylie ._.
    it's just kylie ._. 4 days ago +4

    No offense, by fuck terfs

    • SQ38
      SQ38 2 days ago

      fuck terfs

    • J&S Stopmotion
      J&S Stopmotion 3 days ago +2

      @char mood

    • char
      char 3 days ago +4

      full offense, but fuck terfs

  • phanic! at the disco•*

    i miss u :(

  • Arosaki
    Arosaki 4 days ago +3

    everyone: **touched by dans story**
    me: pretty jakiht

  • renee irene
    renee irene 4 days ago

    At the end I always start crying god help me

  • Roman Pecora
    Roman Pecora 4 days ago +1

    G note warning 2:11 how
    Dare you not g note me. Give us a warning my dude geez

  • Straw Cherry
    Straw Cherry 4 days ago +1

    I think this video hit too hard because I spent days crying about how sad dan's childhood was

  • H Simpson
    H Simpson 4 days ago +2

    Dan come back ! We miss you.

  • Sneaky snek 2005
    Sneaky snek 2005 4 days ago

    Please come back we miss you

  • Ecaterina Rosu
    Ecaterina Rosu 4 days ago

    I'm baaack

  • bran peep
    bran peep 4 days ago

    38:46

  • Margo Spiegelman
    Margo Spiegelman 4 days ago

    You are such a strong person ♥

  • 13 years old and no subs.

    Dan: "lower than my self-esteem!"
    Me: lol same 😖

  • JhopeFeels
    JhopeFeels 4 days ago +1

    Where are you dan? D:

  • Reyna Rodriguez
    Reyna Rodriguez 4 days ago

    For shut up cartoons

  • Reyna Rodriguez
    Reyna Rodriguez 4 days ago

    You helped smosh

  • yarnion
    yarnion 5 days ago +8

    is it bad that rewatching this the only thing i can focus on is where the hELL aRe those colour reflections coming from-

  • Paige boyce
    Paige boyce 5 days ago

    22:12 killed me

  • Spam ZEE
    Spam ZEE 5 days ago +2

    Then puberty happened



    AHHHHH

  • Taylor Wilkinson
    Taylor Wilkinson 5 days ago +2

    I love you more than I could ever explain.

  • Ove Andersen
    Ove Andersen 5 days ago +3

    *chuckle* impenetrable

  • tabscat 226
    tabscat 226 5 days ago +1

    Are you OK, because it's almost December and you haven't posted and I don't know you but I'm slightly worried.

  • GreyScale
    GreyScale 6 days ago +2

    Formless Blobs Unite!

  • August Levine
    August Levine 6 days ago +4

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have made me feel so incredibly motivated and happy and accepted in so many ways and I hope you may life your truth in peace. You have been so brave, it really, really helps all of us. I pray that life lets happiness and good luck fall upon your life. You deserve it.

  • Destini Lee
    Destini Lee 6 days ago +16

    Who the frick disliked I’m comin ta frickin get ya 👀👀👀

  • gracie cook
    gracie cook 6 days ago +3

    I now identify as a formless blob. Also thank you so much for being so brave and working so hard to get to this point where you can feel Safe enough to share this. Thank you!

  • Adam
    Adam 6 days ago +1

    *aRe wE gOnNa fUcK?*

  • Suzy McClelland
    Suzy McClelland 6 days ago +2

    The only time you here "I'm so glad I failed."