George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion

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  • Published on Apr 8, 2019
  • A video I put together containing George Carlin's stand up clips about religion.
    I hope George's family don't mind me making and sharing this.

    If you're still reading, you could do something really positive that would hopefully inspire the pupils at my school. It would be excellent if you could download and rate/review my completely free new game app called 'One Lap Reloaded', which I made to show my pupils it was possible. Here are the links:
    play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.MatthewHolden.OneLapReloaded
    apps.apple.com/app/id1468648847
    Thank you and take care
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 4 214

  • JPLX Labelle
    JPLX Labelle 2 hours ago

    If there is a God, I'm pretty sure this guy is truely and completely fucked. For eternity. I'll sit on the fence like the rest of you, and watch how it plays out😉👌

  • stratowhore
    stratowhore 2 hours ago

    The beautiful George Carlin in full flight: The Human Sledgehammer.

  • Guy barton
    Guy barton 9 hours ago

    Best

  • Edith Dlp
    Edith Dlp 10 hours ago

    Such an intelligent person. I agree with Carlin. God is the leading cause of death.

  • naughtmoses
    naughtmoses 11 hours ago

    See George, Matt, Ben, Linda, Alanis and many more in "Dogma" online. BUT... consider that religion serves a purpose for the few who benefit SO much from being free of it. ("What would we do if they all knew what we know?")

  • Mohamed Ahmane
    Mohamed Ahmane 12 hours ago +1

    George Carlin has aged like fine wine.

  • YJM YJM
    YJM YJM 13 hours ago

    Don't tax the churches. Ban them from using federal reserve notes. Separation of church and state, right? What do they need our currency for? Give religious structures free utilities (city water, power etc) and that's it.

  • Steve Baxter
    Steve Baxter 16 hours ago

    We Need This Man To Tour The UK NOW.

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 14 hours ago

      Yeahhh.... thats not gonna happen

  • Charles Weeman
    Charles Weeman 19 hours ago

    Religion is a fabrication of the mind. Either you right your own bull shit story or follow someone else's. Me I am my own Bull shit as I lived the hard life to know mine. Where I learned the truth from nature. And did not need to be told what it is. It is harsh and cruel. But forging also if you lean to see it for what it is. That's survival not belief of the truth. And makes imagination A weapon used to carve out an existence that never feers time. As any other existence inevitably gets board living in a lie.

  • T12J7
    T12J7 Day ago +1

    It's quit interesting how standup is still called standup no matter what they talk or say. Couldn't all people who talk to crowds be called standup comedians if they just make joke or two while doing it? Like politicians, pastors, etc.

  • Redwingsfan
    Redwingsfan Day ago

    .4:00. Most religions stem from sun worship. Study astrotheology and it becomes obvious to many.

  • I make house calls UKdoctor

    The reality is that George Carlin doesnt know whats real or not. I am not religious but I am also not so pompous that I am going to tell people that religion is false and God doesnt exist.

  • Cthulhu 669
    Cthulhu 669 Day ago

    No gods, no masters

  • AirsoftAddicted
    AirsoftAddicted Day ago

    Imagine, he tell the same story about Allah.

    • Isaac Diakité
      Isaac Diakité 12 hours ago

      He already did, Allah just means God in arabic.

  • haitipi
    haitipi Day ago

    Carlin was a big phony and hypocrite. Glad to see him go.

  • WeezaY5000
    WeezaY5000 Day ago

    The RU-clip algorithms are fucked because while watching this video I keep getting ads for "The Israeli Institute if Biblical Studies." Talk about a waste of money....and by that I mean the people paying RU-clip to advertise to me.

  • mv11000
    mv11000 Day ago +1

    Does anyone know from what show the first part is? It is really the most brilliant anti-religious rant I have ever heard

  • ChaosLord
    ChaosLord Day ago +9

    @15:10 It took George Carlin two and a half years to reach The Age of Reason, yet civilization has existed for thousands of years and still hasn't got there.

  • Randell Phillips

    R.i.p

  • Kenneth An
    Kenneth An Day ago

    Angry old man

  • NwiekTM
    NwiekTM Day ago +1

    love you carlin.

  • StorySourceLLC.com
    StorySourceLLC.com Day ago +1

    The Rule should be: take 5 mins of Carlin a day to make you feel better

  • Ridley McNamara
    Ridley McNamara 2 days ago

    I hate being so cynical nowadays. 😯

  • Christopher Beeler
    Christopher Beeler 2 days ago +1

    And BTW....whoever thumbed this Man down is a complete knuckle dragging,F@#$tard!!! If U dislike him,why'd U watch it damn idiots...🙊🙉🙈🖕

  • Christopher Beeler
    Christopher Beeler 2 days ago +1

    Best Comedian ever......Richard Pryor is a close 2nd in my opinion, but George was beyond Intelligent and witty.... I supported his kind of comedy,and truthfulness. A TRUE legend!✌

  • John Gibson
    John Gibson 2 days ago +2

    Love to do an IQ test on the 1300 people who have given a thumbs down!

    • haitipi
      haitipi 16 hours ago

      @John Gibson
      I get your point. It's moot. IQ has no bearing on education or morals. One can have a high IQ, and be uneducated and ignorant......and evil. Has no bearing.
      That's my point.

    • John Gibson
      John Gibson 18 hours ago

      @haitipi Your IQ is 158 and you can't work out my point. Interesting, if true.

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 22 hours ago

      @haitipiright. Sure it is.

    • haitipi
      haitipi Day ago

      My IQ is 158. And your point?

  • Jim M
    Jim M 2 days ago

    So let me ask you this...if there is no ultimate justice then why are there any morals, why is there love, care, etc, and where did that come from? What benefit would accrue in nature where survival of the fittest is the driving force of evolution? Why do we know it is wrong to kill for example? Nature, without constraint of morals, kills without regard. Why do we know it is wrong to rape? Surely nature, which drives the perpetuation of ones genes has no trouble with rape. Surely homosexuals are then natures mistakes if perpetuation of genes was the natural priority? What prohibition could exist in the absence of ultimate justice (read God) for robbery - if I want something or need it, I should steal it and if anyone gets in my way, I will kill them? Without justice, introduced into the natural order, we'd be doing these things and doing them very well, because nature would never evolve to introduce them of it's own volition. Anyone who thinks to counter that "we've evolved to know that there has to be morals" is a supreme idiot because evolution doesn't tolerate weakness....and the presence of the police is not the explicator for the existence of the rule of law. If you truly believe there is no God, the entire society you live in is a fraud - all the laws of the Western world are based on Judaeo/Christian belief of ultimate justice and once you remove that the whole edifice comes crashing down.....the reason we had the 2008 crash is based on greed, the reason we have so many murders is based on disrespect for the admonishment not to murder, the reason we have so many abortions is based on disrespect for each other and "me first"....if you cannot feed your children, why not kill them? Problem solved. TO all you clowns out there who deny that there is "agency" and a set of rules which ultimately benefit us as opposed to the natural order of no rules, I say you are hypocrites to be constrained by any rules - dodge your taxes, why pay for your kids - go out and have fun, shag the neighbours wife, take his car etc. see how far you get - then go up in front of the judge and ask him who the hell he is to stop you. I guarantee you won't get very far...there are reasons for these rules and agencies to impose them. But, much as I enjoyed listening to some of this comic routine, it is clear that Carlin really believes what he is saying and then it just became annoying listening to stupidity - the idea of why wouldn't I "worship the sun" which was met with whoops of validation and applause is astonishing. Here are logical people - naturalists, who believe they are far more intelligent than people who believe in "some guy up in the sky", believing in a ball of flames in the sky as the explicator for human restraint and identifying with cultures, some who are thousands of years extinct....who worshipped the sun!!!
    For all those who also tear strips out of "the church" - the church is the people, it is those who believe in God and who try follow God's commandments. It is NOT the big buildings, it is not the TAX free status, it is not the cardinals, it is not the animals who have interfered with and abused children etc. etc. These institutions, these men and women have failed to follow the laws that are God given. The laws of God would still stand if the church was poverty stricken - as it should be, - the laws of God stand in direct condemnation of those who abuse children whether priest or lay person, those who covet money as an end in itself and not for the relief of poverty etc. What Carlin is missing here is that he sees the fact that the Church is so corrupt and immediately condemns the rules of God which He gave to the Church. There is nothing wrong with the rules - do not kill, do not steal etc. are universally correct. We all know that. So how is God or His rules at fault here? I rest my case.

    • Jim M
      Jim M 17 hours ago

      @Corey Holt Oh my God!!! In an effort to demonstrate the sheer stupidity of what you have just said,lets disect your comment, working from the back.."But social animals do not kill their own species. Just like we don't"...well explain what has been happening since Cain slew Abel, all the wars, WW1 and WW2 where millions were KILLED....the gas chambers...
      As for Social animals do not kill their own species...I suggest you pick up a book young man....you haven't a clue what you are talking about...Baboons...societal animals and highly dangerous to their young...a male lion, societal animal will kill the offspring if he has not fathered them himself...
      You really are demonstrating a degree of stupidity, and I have no problem saying that out straight considering your responses to a simple question posed, that is hard to credit. I am done here. I won't be responding further.
      ...I suggest you adopt the maxim of keeping you moth closed so that we can only guess at your stupidity rather than opening it to confirm it as fact.

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 17 hours ago

      @Jim M yes, animals kill other animals. Just like we do.
      But social animals do not kill their own species. Just like we don't.
      It's really not that complicated. I mean, unless you're stupid.

    • Jim M
      Jim M 22 hours ago

      @Corey Holt You really cannot understand the argument or you're unable to read and progress the thought. NOWHERE HAVE I ADMITTED THAT that the only reason that I don't kill, rape and steal is because I am afraid of punishment from god...I have not even suggested that - if you could look to the question I posed, you imbecile, you might then argue your case as to why morals, love, nurture exist SOLELY as a product of nature and NOT introduced by an AGENT.....if you cannot understand that question then get lost you moron...you call me a psychopath but you clearly do not know the characteristics of definition of a psychopath. Your penultimate sentence "I don't believe in punishment from god, and I still don't do those things" completely proves that you have missed the point entirely....and incidentally, since whether by nature or agency we obviously have some morals, where did I suggest that mine are greater or less than yours, you half-wit. Get yourself and education or at least learn to read and understand the point being made, even if you disagree with it.

    • Jim M
      Jim M 22 hours ago

      @Corey Holt Really? So you haven't a clue about nature. Herbivores are food for carnivores, and smaller carnivores are food for larger ones...otherwise explain to me how they survive. Nature, have for eons killed without regard...what do you think happened to the dinosaurs...did a meteor not kill them - that's nature!!!
      THe question is jow the apes we evolved from - who are governed by Darwinian fact - survival of the fittest ever developed morals which do NOT fit into Darwinian evolution. Now if you're too stupid to understand the question I am asking of you (and I will get to your previous post next) then don't bother with you ad-hom attacks calling me a psychopath - I suggest you look up the deefinition and my response to @K Muller you gobshyte

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 22 hours ago

      Also, your original post is bullshit. Nature does not "kill without regard". There are thousands of social species that live peacefully together. They understand that gives them the best chance of survival.
      It's the same with humans. We rely on a functional society to survive. Just like the apes we evolved from

  • John Gibson
    John Gibson 2 days ago +2

    Thank you for sharing this. I have seen it before, but not in an edited version. In the ideal society, schools would show this immediately following Religious Instruction.

  • DrBone
    DrBone 2 days ago

    As a Christian, I enjoy George Carlin's routine on religion. Truly one of the greatest comedians of all time. I love how he manages to ease the crowd and deliver a punchline when everyone gets all tensed up. RIP George Carlin.

    • Redwingsfan
      Redwingsfan 19 hours ago

      DrBone Well, that’s a good thing. You are in rarified air, my friend.

    • DrBone
      DrBone 21 hour ago +1

      @Redwingsfan hes a great comedian and I can enjoy his routine without getting offended. It's not like this is actually going to change my mind about my religious views

    • Redwingsfan
      Redwingsfan Day ago

      Why do you enjoy him destroying your religion?

  • Yoruichi The Extra Terrestrial

    If I search 'church ofJoe pesci', will I see a Facebook group?

  • phoenixfirelb
    phoenixfirelb 2 days ago

    God have mercy on this mans soul

    • phoenixfirelb
      phoenixfirelb 21 hour ago

      But who created the Universe?

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 22 hours ago

      The universe is evidence of the universe. Nothing more.

    • phoenixfirelb
      phoenixfirelb Day ago

      The Universe

    • K Muller
      K Muller Day ago

      First provide EVIDENCE for a god.

  • ALEX WHITE
    ALEX WHITE 2 days ago

    He has a point on some issues ... but about religion, it shows how little his view is

  • maree vega
    maree vega 2 days ago

    Chirs rock copyrighted this routine

  • Lizzardtong
    Lizzardtong 2 days ago +1

    George Carlin worships the sun?
    Praise the Sun! \[T]/

    • ChaosLord
      ChaosLord Day ago

      @black and silver diamond Yep, like christians and catholics, just to name a few. Over the many years of being forcibly exposed to the subject (because the Sun knows I never wanted to know so much about religion), it's become apparant to me that Jesus is basically a metaphor for the Sun. (or analogy, or whatever you wanna call it). Jesus "died", lay in a cave (or mountain...) for three days, then came back on Dec. 25th..? The Winter Solstice - the lowest path of the Sun (in the northern hemisphere, at least) - is on Dec. 21st, which is about three days before the 25th, plus or minus the margin of error of 2000+ year-old sun-tracking technology (not to mention calendar technology). And the "three wise men" couldn't possibly be the three stars of Orion's Belt, could they... yep, Jesus is a primitive Sun god.

    • black and silver diamond
      black and silver diamond 2 days ago

      Maney civilisations worshiped the sun.

  • Darrell Coston
    Darrell Coston 2 days ago

    Why is it that you can't be conservative and not Christian?

    • Darrell Coston
      Darrell Coston Day ago

      @ChaosLord no your way off, I live a very normal life except for Christianity, so I don't know where you came. up with that. You don't have to be realigous to have morals and values..

    • ChaosLord
      ChaosLord Day ago

      It's just part of the rules for joining their "exclusive" club. You also have to wear (or not wear) a specific hat, live in a gated community with a white picket fence (and that's not the only thing that needs to be white...), 2.5 kids, a mortgage, and a new crossover on lease. OR you have to have The Most Lifted Truck Ever flying two giant 'murrikkkan flags, with your sister-wife drinking a six-pack of Coors and blowing your dog in the back. Teeth and murder are optional. In conservative 'murrikkka, it's ok to have sex with your sister, as long as it's not out of wedlock and you don't abort your inbred fetus.

  • Uber Genie
    Uber Genie 3 days ago

    In the BS department a clergyman can't hold a candle to a comedian who pretended to be a genius about religion but dropped out of church ignorant of its message as a young teen.
    In the BS department a clergyman doesn't hold a candle to a comedian who dropped out of high school before his junior year, who nevertheless pretended to be a genius about sociology, economics, politics, religion, constitutional law, and history in front of thousands of hundreds of thousands of people his entire career!
    Now that is a world-class BSer!
    So great were his skills In BS he has inspired a generation of protégés like Whoopie Goldberg, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert. They parade before congress to testified about their uninformed opinions at the request of their equally uninformed supporter in US Congress.
    I laughed all the time at Carlin until I got past my first year in college. By then I could name every rhetorical trick he used to BS people.
    The thumbs-up votes ought to give one a good gage of how many viewers have yet to acquire thinking skill beyond that of a sophomore in high school. If one is under the age of 15 (when Carlin dropped out) then you have an excuse for your gullibility else...well...you could study Carlin's method and pretend to be knowledgeable.

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 2 days ago +3

      Speaking of BS, here we have "Uber Genie" who can write several paragraphs and not include an ounce of substance.
      You got your feelings hurt because he doesn't believe your fairy tale. Get over it.

  • Kryojenix
    Kryojenix 3 days ago

    Xi Jinping

  • Sampson Chan
    Sampson Chan 3 days ago

    Has balls to challenge religion

  • lloyd9710
    lloyd9710 3 days ago

    God is the biggest cause of death 💀

  • Nero Seraphim
    Nero Seraphim 3 days ago +2

    Jesus gave his life to free us from the evils of common sense and self esteem

    • K Muller
      K Muller Day ago

      @Nero Seraphim So???
      And how about EVIDENCE for a god???

    • Nero Seraphim
      Nero Seraphim Day ago

      Well Im here lol

    • K Muller
      K Muller Day ago

      First provide EVIDENCE for a god.

  • Thinking Rational
    Thinking Rational 3 days ago +6

    If people have 1/10th of reasoning abilities that mr carlin had world will get rid of all the misery

  • umadbro170
    umadbro170 3 days ago

    Yo dont listen to this guy the people who actually run this country believe in God but they willingly go against him and have been corrupting this land they know what's to come to them sorry America but it seems you've turned to the city of sodom and gamorah

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 22 hours ago

      Look man, nobody is that stupid. Especially not people capable of making it into the elite class. Have fun with your religious conspiracy theories, we'll be over here in the real world

  • AK AK
    AK AK 3 days ago

    He was wrong bout God

  • Jill Lingle
    Jill Lingle 3 days ago

    Well, that was disappointing.

  • Malcolm Gardner
    Malcolm Gardner 3 days ago +10

    George Carlin is a legend. Gives Religion exactly what it deserves. Ridicule

  • Wilfredo Guzman
    Wilfredo Guzman 3 days ago

    Never knew his genius.☀️☀️👍🏼 he knows the truth about that great country...of ours and don’t we just love our president.🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

  • Ziggy 0077
    Ziggy 0077 3 days ago +6

    Humour aside
    Opening people's minds
    Much more important...

  • Matt C
    Matt C 3 days ago +1

    George is now in hell thinking about this , it's to late for him repent

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 22 hours ago

      @Matt C dude... fuck your god. He's a piece of shit character, written by ignorant men who knew nothing about how the world works. Your bible contradicts itself hundreds of times and tons of its claims have been proven wrong. You're clinging to a fucking fairy tale. Grow up.

    • Matt C
      Matt C Day ago

      @Mckenzie .Latham we burn them so people like dont read them and shy away from God Almighty

    • Mckenzie .Latham
      Mckenzie .Latham 2 days ago +1

      @Matt C *if that helps you sleep at night*

      Facts and proven history usually do...

      you might have been aware of this if the christian faith and catholic Church had more value for reading books instead of simply burning them becasue they didn't like what they said.

    • Matt C
      Matt C 2 days ago

      @Corey Holt what have you done Corey ?

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 2 days ago +3

      When you did this, how did jesus "show up"? Was it a tingly feeling you got when you were praying? That isn't jesus showing up. Thats you tricking yourself.

  • Phantasm Theater
    Phantasm Theater 3 days ago +1

    I want to thank all you non-thinkers for helping me win my bet. Easiest $5 ever.

  • PrinsTan
    PrinsTan 3 days ago +1

    ... and the Icecapades!
    Something is wrong

  • Christian Pauchet
    Christian Pauchet 3 days ago +8

    We need more George Carlins and less Ken Hams and Ray Comforts.

  • James Gossweiler
    James Gossweiler 3 days ago

    It's my understanding George Carlin died an alcoholic (he preferred wine) and a Vicodin (opioid pain killer) addict. I'm not sure he's a role model for me.

  • Skulli
    Skulli 3 days ago

    Who thinks he came back as jim Jefferies

  • Mehdi El
    Mehdi El 3 days ago

    Western people judge religion through their own bad experience with the religion they practised through centuries, just because the churches was corrupted and practised corruption doesn't mean that all religion are bad, take for example islam before pagans arabs adopted this religion, they were like a savage they buried their daughters alive because they considered it as a shame in their Bedouin society norm, when they adopted islam as religion they changed from this savage state to the one who founded one of the biggest and powerful empire who defeated byzantin empire et persian empire and dominated spain for 800 years and also the science was very very valorised .

    • Unnamed RedShirt
      Unnamed RedShirt 3 days ago +2

      @Mehdi El Ok, I might conceded that the idea helped progress mankind (though couldn't the argument be made that Christianity helped reform the barbaric Roman society into the relatively tame European countries?). That being said, this still isn't proof that Islam is actually true. I still don't know of any evidence.

    • Mehdi El
      Mehdi El 3 days ago

      @Unnamed RedShirt but we can give some credit to the islamic religion that changed the pagan arab bedouin from the stage of savage to the founder of one of the biggest empire in the world in a very short time lapse compared to other empire .
      It depend how you can see the truthiness in this religion and how it can convince you it is true, but we can conclude that islam is the only religion that founded an empire and civilization when other empires created their own religion and civilization .

    • Unnamed RedShirt
      Unnamed RedShirt 3 days ago +2

      Ok, but that doesn't mean the teachings of Islam are true, it just means it helped rulers instill order and control?

  • Eurisko
    Eurisko 3 days ago

    There’s actually 604

  • Smittinator
    Smittinator 3 days ago +1

    Everyone is coming here from the Rap Battle. Shit, I came to the rap battle from HERE. Been a Carlin fan for years, but hey whatever exposure George can get the better!

    • F. I. R. E.
      F. I. R. E. 3 days ago

      Coming here from the rap battle made me realize that, _hey,_ I _have_ seen this guy before! Just had trouble putting a face to the name...

  • Nicholas David
    Nicholas David 4 days ago

    It’s weird how when they get their voices down low him and Lewis black sound strangely similar

  • black john
    black john 4 days ago +3

    You're all sinners for listening to this godless monster.




    Just kidding I love and miss George. He spits truth.
    Have a good day fellow humans

    • black john
      black john 3 days ago +1

      @Unnamed RedShirt I get bored sometimes

    • Unnamed RedShirt
      Unnamed RedShirt 3 days ago +2

      Damn, you got me. Here I was ready to roast another one.

  • william mattingly
    william mattingly 4 days ago +3

    He is spot on about religion...in every sense

  • william mattingly
    william mattingly 4 days ago

    Actually freedom of the press, speech, religion and right of the people to peacefully assemble to petition the government for a redress of grievances is 4 in the 1st Amendment.....the right to bear arms, the right to not have to quarter Soldiers in your private home in peacetime or war, the right against unlawful search and seizure, againt double jeopardy, self-incrimination, right of due process right against cruel and unusual punishment, right to counsel, right to speedy trial and to face tour accusers, right to a jury trial, right against excessive bails or fines and the right of the states to govern themselves....
    Technically there is close to 20 rights guaranteed under the Bill of Rights

  • Eye Onyou
    Eye Onyou 4 days ago

    Must of never met the Holy Spirit.

  • Robert Feight
    Robert Feight 4 days ago +3

    2:44 truer words are seldom spoken. George simplifies an idea--religion-that has over-complicated life on this planet for thousands and thousands of years.

  • Gary Curtis
    Gary Curtis 4 days ago

    This guy was a comedy God.

  • Rkk O'Tilley
    Rkk O'Tilley 4 days ago +1

    am certain carlin believes in God now...an thank goodness I aint him

    • K Muller
      K Muller Day ago

      First provide EVIDENCE for a god.

    • Corey Holt
      Corey Holt 2 days ago +1

      @Rkk O'Tilley everything you just said is religion. The bible is religion. If you know that religion is the bane of mankind then stop being religious

  • Emergency Pension
    Emergency Pension 4 days ago

    I can't help but think Carlin is getting all these ppl to clap and cheer for things they dint actually care about....

  • Robert Dowler
    Robert Dowler 4 days ago

    Reverend Georgeness it is.

  • yaniel campos
    yaniel campos 4 days ago

    Had the pleasure of seeing him live.

  • wolves555
    wolves555 4 days ago

    By the way I worship at the altar of the finest thing ever invented....the female body . Absolutely beautiful as long as it is maintained, I mean . God bless the female anatomy .

  • wolves555
    wolves555 4 days ago

    He got better and better right til the end . !! The Mozart of comedians . !
    God bless George Carlin!!

  • Donald Whittaker
    Donald Whittaker 4 days ago +1

    Masterful